


A Small Matter

by LilyInTheSnow



Series: The Intelligence Nerd and The Avengers [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Puns, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Cameos, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Humor, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rimming, Smut, Top Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-11-26 10:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyInTheSnow/pseuds/LilyInTheSnow
Summary: Steve gets shrunk during a fight with Hydra, but retains everything else the serum gave him. Bucky's not quite sure how to handle Twink!Steve. In the end Twink!Steve handles Bucky. Tony, Bruce, and Doctor Strange have no idea how to fix it and Thor thinks Loki might've had something to do with it. It's fine though. Everything is perfectly fine. Probably.Or: Steve gets shrunk, fucks Bucky's brains out, and they make a trip to Jotunheimen, Norway. Steve might steal Stormbreaker from Thor and they might get chased by a mutant maneating weremoose. They also might get into a drunken snowball fight. Oh, and Loki is there too.





	A Small Matter

**Author's Note:**

> This is not the sequel, don't worry!
> 
> Beta'd by the super awesome panthergyrl on Tumblr!
> 
> Also I want to note that Loki uses they/them pronouns as they are genderfluid. Also my Loki is probably more in line with comic Loki than MCU Loki. They are also Lady Loki and maybe a little bit pregnant.
> 
> There's more smut that usual in this and maybe it's little rougher than my usual too, but nothing major.

“Steve? Baby, are you okay?”

Bucky heard a groan from underneath the pile of rubble that currently hid his husband from him and dropped to his knees to start lifting the concrete and metal off of him.

“Honey?”

“M’okay, sugar.” Steve coughed and the pile began to shift. Steve's stubborn head popped up as a piece of concrete the size of his shield fell to the side.

“Um…” Was it Bucky or did Steve's helmet no longer fit right? Was his face narrower? “You sure you're okay, Steve?”

“Other than being slightly squished I'm fine. And you know I don't have a head injury because I'd be speaking in puns again and I know how much you hate that even though my puns are koala tea.”

“I hate you.” And seriously, what the hell was up with Steve's head? Bucky flung more of the rubble away from his husband and blinked down at him when he managed to wiggle loose. The suit was too big. Like...miles too big. The fuck? He pushed himself to his feet and blinked at his husband. “Steve?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“Are you sure you're okay?”

“I'm fine, Buck. What's wrong?” Steve climbed to his feet, seeming to think that he was only wobbling because of the rubble and not because his boots had to be at least three sizes too big for him. His helmet flopped around his head, his suit was all twisted up and stacked at the ankles. Sleeves hanging over his hands. Steve had somehow shrunk about a foot and lost at least a buck twenty. What if he'd gotten all his health problems back?

“Um.” How did he tell Steve he was tiny again? He bit his bottom lip in thought then grabbed the shield and spun it around so Steve could see his reflection in the vibranium. “You're um...I guess it was a shrink ray?”

Steve blinked at his reflection then reached out to take the shield, eyes straying now to the gloves hanging loosely on delicate hands with knobby and slightly bruised knuckles. A bead of blood welled up on his lip and slid down his chin, making Bucky want to kiss it away. Kiss away the shocked look on his husband's face.

“Honey, are you okay?” Bucky knew he wasn't. No one would be after something like this.

“I don't know.” Steve finally looked away from his hands only to look down at the rest of himself. “Motherfucker!”

“Bucky! What's going on?”

“Sam, I need you to get Steve out of here, now.”

“What? Bucky, no. We're not done here!”

“Steve. Please, baby. It's not safe for you right now.” Bucky knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as he'd said it. Steve got that stupid sexy glare and mulish clench of his jaw. Huh, it actually looked just as hot on Twink Steve as it did on Big Steve.

“I'm not helpless, Bucky.”

“I know that, but you're not-"

“I've been fighting longer than you've been alive. I can do this!” He jerked the shield out of Bucky's hands and Bucky was either too shocked by the vehemence in his voice or Steve hadn't lost his strength along with his height and weight because he almost fell on top of Steve when he tried to hang onto it. By the way Steve's eyes widened Bucky thought his shrink ray idea might’ve been right. “Shit.”

Steve shook off his gloves, pushed his sleeves up, and shoved his arm through the straps on the shield. Bucky slapped his free hand away when he went to tighten the straps and did it for him, making sure they fit snugly enough so he wouldn't get hurt.

“You realize that I'm technically like a year older than you right? And we're talking about this when we get home.”

Steve looked up at him then sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

“Be careful, baby.” 

“As I ever am.” He smirked at Bucky's glare then took off running. Well, hobbling really, since his boots were too big. Steve was going to have blisters like hell when they got home.

Sam's voice filled his ear as he watched his husband. “Do I need to take him home still or?”

“No. Just keep an eye on him, Sam.”

“You're sure?”

Bucky huffed. “No, but he can still hold the shield and jerk me around so he might be okay, just fun sized.”

“I was always fun, asshole,” Steve snapped as Sam laughed.

“Steve, baby, I meant cause you’re tiny right now.”

“I'll fucking show you fun sized. Soon as we get home I'm ripping your uniform off with my teeth and fucking you until you cry.”

Bucky whimpered as he imagined his tiny husband fucking him into the mattress and almost got beaned in the head by a thrown rock while Sam groaned, Tony and Clint giggled, Natasha made a quiet thoughtful humming sound, Hulk roared, and Thor flew by to give Steve a high five. 

Thanks to Steve running his mouth the last time Tony had thrown them all a party, in which Steve and Bucky had maybe drank a little bit too much of Thor’s booze, the entire team now knew about their bedroom activities. And their living room activities And their kitchen activities. The ones that didn't involve food anyway. And because Steve had to drunkenly brag that he and Bucky had the best sexlife out of all of them except maybe Thor, they all now knew way more than Bucky wanted them to. Thor had given them a few new ideas though and a book that had more positions than the gay Kama Sutra Tony had given them for Christmas. 

The book was in some weird alien language but the illustrations were helpful. Especially with the way the pictures seemed to dance and move on the parchment, gilded in gold metallic. It was nice. Some of the positions were for beings with more than four limbs, but whatever. It was fine. And if Bucky got pressed about it he would admit, at least to himself, that the one with the tentacles looked kinda neat. He had been slightly disturbed at first, but then he had imagined Steve with the tentacles and started wondering how many he could take, but thankfully he hadn't told Steve about it because then the whole team would know and start sending him links to hentai.

“Barnes-Rogers. Earth to Rogers.” An arrow pinged off of his arm and he shook his head and looked up to find Clint glaring at him. 

“What?”

“You plan on helping anytime soon or are you gonna take a nap?”

Bucky sighed, glanced at his husband one more time, then climbed back up onto the roof he'd thrown himself off of when Steve had gotten hit by that stupid ray gun thingy that was now under a pile of rubble. They'd have to dig it out before they went home. Let Stark and Bruce look it over.

He snagged his rifle from where he had dropped it and started picking off the bad guys. Making sure to keep an eye on Steve in the process. So far Steve was beating just as much ass as he usually did and shouting orders as fiercely as before. He was a tiny sexy badass and Bucky wanted to jump his tiny bones while he was in uniform.

***

When they finally finished, finally rounded up all the Hydra douchebags, and when the hell were all these fuckers going to give up? they made their way back to the tower after digging up the stupid gun that Steve had been shot with. It was Bucky's fault that he'd been hit. If he had been paying more attention to Steve he would have caught the dickwad before he managed to shoot him. Bucky had taken him out with a clean headshot right after, but he still felt guilty that Steve was effectively Pre-Serum now. 

Did that mean the fanfic about them was going to change now too? Not that he knew anything about the fanfic about him and Steve. And he definitely hadn't read any. Maybe a couple. Ten, tops. But that was only provable because he had figured out that he could save his history on AO3 and bookmark stories on there too if he signed up. He wasn't writing his own, so it was okay because really, his and Steve's lives were crazy enough already. He might’ve plotted a couple out at some point but hadn't actually written them. Did it still count?

And he'd gotten off track, but he would still

be all over his tiny twink-sized husband if it weren't for the fact that Stark wanted to run test after test and Bruce agreed with him. If Bruce agreed with Tony then Bucky would generally go along with it.

So Bucky was now sitting next to his husband on the bed where Bruce and Tony had put them. He couldn't hold his hand though. He wasn't allowed yet because Steve's temperature and heart rate and blood pressure spiked and they wanted to make sure his baselines where normal. Couldn't have Steve getting all hot and bothered while they ran tests. 

Not that they weren't thrumming with adrenalin anyway. Usually by now they'd be tearing each other's clothes off and then Steve would haul him up and fuck him against the wall. Well, actually they'd be eye fucking each other while debriefing, but close enough. They could still eye fuck each other here. Maybe. So long as Tony and Bruce got their baselines.

Ten minutes later they were given the go ahead and Bucky immediately pulled Steve into his arms. Eye fucking could wait until later.

“I'm sorry, baby. If I'd been paying closer attention this wouldn't have happened.”

“It's not your job to protect me.”

“Your wedding ring says otherwise.”

“Oh, fuck!” Steve immediately checked his finger for the ring he hadn't taken off since their fake wedding two years ago. “My ring! Buck?” he sounded so devastated that Bucky hugged him closer and tucked his head under his chin.

“Here, short stack. It was in your gloves.” Tony held out the ring and Steve took it with a shaking hand and tried to slide it back on his finger. It hung loosely so Bucky took it then reached for Steve's neck to take off the chain that held one of his and one of Steve's dog tags. He slid the ring onto the chain then draped it back over Steve's neck.

“There, baby. It's ok.” He patted the ring and dog tags then pulled Steve back into his arms.

“We'll get J to order you some new clothes until we get this figured out,” Stark murmured as he tapped away on one of his tablets.

“Thank you.”

“Why don't you two go ahead and clean up. We'll debrief during dinner tonight.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you, guys.”

Tony and Bruce gave them small smiles and Bucky slid off the bed and pulled Steve with him. “Come on, baby. Let's go take a shower.”

He led Steve to their apartment, still holding his hand, and sighed once the door was closed behind them.

“I really am sorry, Steve. I should've been watching closer.”

“It ain't your fault Buck. It was a shit situation.”

“Yeah, but if I'd been faster it wouldn't have happened.”

Steve reached up and smushed Bucky's cheeks in his hands. “We take risks every time we walk out that door. Remember? Sometimes shit happens. Tony and Bruce will figure it out. I still have the serum so whatever that thing did only made me small again.”

“Steve.”

“Shut it. It's not your fault.”

“But-"

Steve grabbed the neck of his uniform and jerked him down to eye level. Why was it so hot? “It is not your fault. Hydra did this. Tony and Bruce will fix it. I know they will. Okay?” Steve gave him a little shake, as if making absolutely sure he got the message then cupped his face in his hands again, squishing his cheeks and making his lips purse. “Okay?”

Bucky nodded, face still mushed in his husband's hands. “Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Steve gave him a gentle kiss, barely more than brushing their lips together lightly, then turned him loose. “I'm going to take a shower.” Steve gave him a look that Bucky thought might have been a mix between apprehension and desire then turned and made his way to their bedroom.

Did Steve not want him to see him naked like this? Was he self conscious now? Did he think Bucky wouldn't love or want him anymore because he wasn't six feet and some odd inches of beefcake? Well, fuck that if he did because Bucky had been just as enamored with Twink Steve as he was with Beefcake Steve. He needed to disabuse his husband of that erroneous assumption. Right now.

He stalked down the hall and into their bedroom, slightly mourning the fact that Steve was missing his murder strut, and stripped down as soon as he got into the room. The shower was already on. Steve's too big suit and boots and underclothes were a pile on the floor, kicked to the corner. Jesus, Steve.

It didn't matter that Steve didn't blame him for this. It was still his fault. If he had been faster or keeping a closer eye on Steve it never would have happened. He wished he knew what Steve was thinking, what he was going through. Wished he knew what was going through his head, but one thing he did know was that Steve would not talk about it right now. He'd bottle it up. 

And then Bucky got the stupid idea, something not unusual where his husband was concerned, that he might ask Tony to shoot him with the shrink ray thingy once he and Bruce figured it out. It'd be like...Pre-War Twunk Bucky. Cause he hadn't quite been a twink, after the age of fifteen anyways, but he hadn't been beefy then either. He'd had muscle, just not near as much as what he had now. Maybe Steve would want to see him that way.

He grinned to himself then walked into their bathroom to find Steve staring at himself in the mirror with tears in his eyes. Bucky wasn't sure what he was crying over, but his heart still broke for him.

“Steve? Honey, what's goin’ on?” 

Steve shook his head then practically threw himself into the shower and slid the door closed. “I'm fine, Buck. I was just checking for bruises.”

“You're a shitty liar, Steven. I need you to talk to me right now. Do you not want me to see you like this?”

“It doesn't-”

“Of course it matters.”

“I'm not...it's just…” He trailed off with a growl and Bucky nodded to himself.

“You know the documentary? The one you found in the back of the closet when you were helping me move my stuff out of my apartment?”

“Of course I do. What does that have to do with anything?”

“You know how many times I watched that? Jerked off to certain parts of it?”

“No!” It was said with a laughing gasp and Bucky grinned.

“A lot more than what's probably healthy.” He had. A lot. It should've been embarrassing. But it wasn't. He had no chill about anything involving his husband. “Wanna know what parts?”

“Yeah.” Steve's voice was quiet now, nearly drowned out by the water hitting the tiles. Unsure.

Bucky moved to the frosted glass and leaned against the door, facing away from the shower. He could just see the top of Steve's head in the mirror. Blonde strands of hair darkened and matted down with water.

“The part where Tony’s old man and Dr. Erskine opened the Beefcake Machine. You looked high as a kite, all those endorphins rushing through your veins. Chronic pain all your life and then the pain in the machine. And when it was over you were this strong, muscled up Adonis, and you weren't hurting anymore. You looked like you'd just had the most powerful orgasm of your life. I used to imagine that. Used to think about what you looked like when you came. Turns out what you looked like after the machine opened is damn near the same.”

He heard sniffles under the sound of the rushing water.

“Wanna know what other part, baby?”

“Yeah.” Steve didn't sound so sure, but Bucky knew he needed to hear it right now.

“The part where they showed the pictures of you lookin’ like this. When you were talking about that Hodge asshole being so mean to you. The way you lit up when talking about your Peggy sockin’ him for being a sexist asshole. All I could see was you, little like this. Fighting back with everything you had, not letting those pricks win. They thought they were better than you because you were little. Because you couldn't run as fast or as far. Couldn't lift as much. But you know what? You beat them all, just like this. You were so strong and so brave and so amazing and good. You didn't give them a choice. You made them see you. Made them pick you. You did it. And that was sexier than Big You falling out of the Beefcake Machine.”

He heard more sniffles and then a shuddering sigh.

“I used to jerk off more to those pictures of Tiny You while you told the story than I did with the Beefcake Machine. I wanted to jump your tiny bones. Used to imagine you bossin’ me around. Putting me on my knees and tangling your hands in my hair. Making me hold still while you fucked my mouth.”

He skimmed a hand down his stomach, wrapped his fingers around his hard cock. Not stroking, just holding himself.

“Wanted you. Wanted you to use me. Wanted you to bend me over and fuck me hard as you could. You would've done it, too. Wouldn't you?”

“Buck.” Steve was full on crying now and Bucky let go of his dick and turned to slide the door open. He stepped in and crowded close to his husband, pulled him into his arms and held him. Let him cry it out.

“I love you, Steve. So fuckin’ much. Don't matter to me what size you are. You're still mine and I'm still yours. However you want me.”

Steve sobbed, breath hitching, and Bucky slid his hand up and down his back soothingly. Tracing each bump of his knobby spine. His narrow hips. Thumb pressing into the divot above his tiny perfect bubble butt.

“You might’ve been physically stronger coming out of the machine, you still got that strength at least, but you were stronger like this. You were so strong, baby. Some people mighta given up after all the shit you went through, but you never did. Never let the world prove itself right. You proved ‘em all wrong.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you so much, honey. You don't ever gotta be ashamed of nothin’. Don't matter what it is.” Bucky loosened his hold marginally then put a finger under Steve's chin and lifted his head. “Yeah?”

Steve nodded then tucked his head under Bucky's chin again. Bucky slid his hands over Steve's back again, fingertips pushing lightly into tense muscles. 

“Gonna wash your hair, honey.” Steve nodded again, lips brushing over Bucky's skin in a small kiss. 

Bucky gently pushed him back then reached for his wild honeysuckle body wash. Steve used it more than their shampoo anyway. He stepped between Steve and the spray, let it hit his back, and squeezed out a palm full then dropped the bottle. He combed his soapy hands through Steve's hair. Dug his fingers into his scalp, nails scratching lightly. Steve was still crying, but no longer sobbing.

He rinsed Steve's hair then grabbed his body wash and glided his hands down Steve's neck and shoulders, massaging tense muscles as much as he scrubbed the sweat and dust from his skin. "Lean against the wall, baby."

When Steve did he massaged his back, tracing gentle lines, pushing in with his knuckles at the small of his back. Working out kinks and knots until Steve was all but boneless. Steve gasped when he dropped to his knees, placed small wet kisses along the dip in his back, tongue pressing into the dimple above his ass as his kneaded the backs of his thighs. He smoothed his hands over Steve's ass, massaging firmly then slid soap slicked fingers between his legs, knuckles dragging over his perineum as he turned his hands to his inner thighs, scrubbing lightly.

Steve's breath hitched and Bucky grinned then nipped an asscheek making him yelp. He slid his hands back to Steve's ass then around to the front of his thighs, one hand straying to his half hard cock and the other to his balls. Steve gasped, rocking into Bucky's hands as he worked him over.

"Not yet." Steve made a little mournful sound when Bucky let go of him and shuffled back. "Let me get your front."

Steve turned, leaned back against the wall, and Bucky smiled up at him as he got more body wash on his hands. Steve's eyes were red rimmed from crying but the tears had mostly stopped. His lashes were clumped together from tears and the shower, and he gave Bucky a wobbly smile.

Bucky started on his legs, washing skinny thighs and knobby knees, delicate calves and boney ankles. He lifted each foot, washed between his toes, tickled him to make him laugh.

He lathered his hands and slid them up Steve's flat stomach, fingertips digging in slightly where he knew Steve was ticklish. Steve smacked him gently on the back of the head then gasped when Bucky reached up and tweaked his nipples with soapy fingers before washing the rest of him.

When he was done he moved and let the spray rinse Steve off. Steve turned until all the soap suds were gone then leaned down and gave Bucky a sweet kiss. Bucky nipped at his mouth, turned it a little rough, then let Steve take the lead back.

Long fingers tangled in his hair as he grasped Steve's hips and he moaned.

"Buck."

"Do it, baby. Want you to."

Steve stood, grip on Bucky's tangled hair tightening with one hand, letting go completely with the other. Bucky whined until he realized what Steve was doing. He followed with his eyes as Steve wrapped those long fingers around his cock, barely able to close them completely around it.

"Holy hell, baby. Tiny You always hung like this? Jesus." Bucky hadn't paid attention to this particular detail when he had been cleaning Steve. Too focused on calming him down and showing him how much he loved him.

Steve laughed, the first one that didn't sound forced or sad then slid the tip of his cock over Bucky's lips. "Yeah." He shuddered when Bucky flicked his tongue out.

"Tiny Twinky you was a bossy top, huh?"

"I'm still a bossy top. And you are a bossy bottom. I used to bottom too, Buck. But not with you. You like it too fucking much. Like me fucking you. Making you come over and over again until you're crying with it."

"Steve."

"I love you, Buck."

Bucky didn't get the chance to say it back. As soon as he opened his mouth Steve shoved his cock in. Both hands tangled in his hair held him still as Steve used him just like he wanted him to. He moaned at the taste, clean skin perfumed with his body wash, the salty bitter drops of precome when he flicked his tongue over the head of Steve's cock as he drew out. 

Steve yanked him closer, fucking down into his throat. Sometimes holding still while Bucky swallowed around him, making him gasp for air when he pulled out. Tears in his eyes as Steve grew even harder in his mouth.

"So good, sugar. So good for me. Look at you. Fucking perfect. Always so perfect for me. Take it so well."

Bucky whimpered, hands tightening on Steve's boney hips. Steve hadn't said he could touch himself. He didn't need permission, but this was something different than usual. He wanted Steve to say he could. Wanted Steve to decide if he got to come or not.

"You want somethin' Buck? Wanna touch that pretty cock of yours?”

Bucky nodded as best as he could with his husband holding his hair. Fingertips bruising Steve's hips now as he fought not to take himself in hand anyway. 

“Not yet.”

He slid a hand between his husbands thighs, pressing and rubbing on that little patch of skin behind his balls in retribution. It wasn't long before Steve jolted and came without warning making Bucky sputter and choke. Steve pulled out, a string of come trailing off the tip of his dick and Bucky laughed once he could breathe again.

“Was it that good, baby?”

“Shut up, jerk.” Steve swiped his thumb over Bucky's lips then pulled him up into a sloppy kiss. “Wanna rub off on me? Or save it for later?”

Bucky stood, dragged Steve up into another biting kiss, then grabbed the soap and slicked up Steve's thighs. “Take a wild guess.”

***

By the time Bucky washed himself off and they dried off and left the bathroom there were five shopping bags sitting on their bed.

Bucky moved the closet while his husband walked to the bags. Bucky dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a pink t-shirt then grabbed his pink holographic Docs and went to the dresser for a pair of socks. 

When he finished dressing he saw Steve laying out his new clothes. A dozen outfits were laid out, mostly skinny jeans and t-shirts.

“Are you okay, honey?”

“I don't know.” Steve shrugged then stepped into a pair of black boxer briefs. “I guess. It's not as bad as it could've been.”

“Is it weird? I mean being little again.”

“I don't really have a basis for this. I mean, I don't appear to have any of my old health problems, my spine isn't even fucked up, so I don't know. It's...I'm just fuckin’ short and skinny again.”

Bucky sat on the bed and pulled Steve between his knees. “And I still love you. And the team still loves you. And everyone else can fuck off.”

Steve shrugged again then grabbed a black t-shirt with a metallic rainbow on it and a pair of dark wash skinnies with the knees torn out.

“Hey, fuck them. I mean it, Steve. Anyone wants to be an asshole just kick their asses.” He knew better than to fight Steve's fights for him; he still did it, but he knew better. This was different though. Steve would assume, however wrongly, that Bucky would be protecting him because he was Twink Steve again and not because he'd do it regardless.

“Get dressed, honey. I'm gonna go down and see what we're ordering for dinner.” He gave Steve a hard smacking kiss on the temple then stood and started toward the door.

“You mean you're going to go tell everyone not to make short jokes.”

“Please, Stark already called you short stack when you were scared you lost your ring.”

“Uh huh.”

“Who me?”

“Fuckin’ nerd.”

"But you love me anyways." Bucky winked then fled the apartment before his husband decided to come after him.

***

Bucky ran out into the commons as soon as the elevator doors opened and headed toward the orgy sized couch where the rest of the team were sitting.

"How's Steve?"

"He's ok. I guess. We talked a bit in the shower. I don't know if he's pretending it's not bothering him or it's not bothering him as much as I thought it would. Also no short jokes. I'll bite whichever one of you makes one.” He glared at them all so they would know he was serious.

“Just one?”

“Tony, I swear to God if you make fun of him I'll go down to the lab, mix together every chemical you have down there, and laugh while the whole tower explodes.”

“James Buchanan Barnes-Rogers!”

Bucky flinched, shoulders up around his ears, and pouted at his husband. “Steve.”

“No.”

“But-" he flicked a hand toward Tony and Steve shook his head, arms crossed over his skinny chest. “Fine. I won't blow up the tower. Might take out the lab, but not the whole tower.”

“No fire bug stuff.”

“You love it when we set fire to shit. Explosions are romantic! Remember those assholes’ house? We left the curtains open. It was sweet.”

Steve sighed. “I guess partial destruction is better than the whole thing.”

“Damn right it is, baby.” Bucky pulled him up into a kiss then turned him loose. He liked being able to pull Steve up like that. It was kinda weird, but now Steve was the shorter one that got yanked up. It was kinda awesome, too. He better not do it too much though. Steve would start to think Bucky liked him better all Twinkified. He liked him just the same thank you very much. 

“Alright. Should we debrief now or wait for the food?”

“Food,” Steve said as he leaned into Bucky.

“Hey, you think you'll need to eat as much now since you're tiny?”

Steve glared and Clint grinned at him then yelped when Natasha elbowed him.

“We'll see. I bet I can still eat you all under the table. Except Buck.”

"None of us want to be eaten under the table by you except Bucky so you might want to rephrase that," Tony said with a smarmy grin and eyebrow waggle.

Bucky groaned as he fought a blush. Stupid Drunk Steve telling everyone their whole sexual history together.

***

Bucky sighed as he traipsed through the apartment one last time. Steve had been gone for a while, probably since he'd fucked Bucky to sleep, and Bucky had woken up to an empty bed with Steve's side already gone cold. Steve hadn't been anywhere that he could find and since JARVIS wasn't in their apartment for whatever reason, something Steve had requested, all Bucky knew was that Steve hadn't left through the door. Bucky wouldn't put it past his husband to throw himself out of a window so no one would see him leave.

Steve had been out of sorts since the day Tony and Bruce told him that they had no idea why the stupid shrink ray thing had worked because their testing and taking the thing apart had shown no working parts at all. It was basically a children's toy.

Bucky didn't blame Steve for feeling put out, but he wished his stubborn ass husband would talk to him instead of running away. This must've been what Steve felt like before he and Bucky finally pulled their heads out of their asses.

He sighed again, a little dispondantly, then went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and toast a couple bagels as he waited for Steve to come back and if he drank his coffee a little slower and ate his bagels at a glacial pace then no one would ever know.

When he walked back into the living room his eyes strayed over to Steve's shield where it was propped up in the corner, wedged between the two walls. Steve wasn't home so he could play with it all he wanted and not get made fun of. 

It hadn't been his fault. He had thrown the shield and  _ maybe _ he'd been distracted by Steve's ass or something and  _ maybe _ it had ricocheted off a brick wall, almost beaned Sam in the head, bounced off Thor's ass, and then embedded itself in the arc reactor housing in Tony's suit and wound up almost killing Iron Man. Thankfully Sam had caught Tony, even if he'd crashed them both into a building, and everyone was fine. Plus or minus a few minor contusions. Natasha and Clint had been too busy laughing at Bucky to help anyone and Steve had only stared in horror until he realized that Sam and Tony and Thor were all laughing their asses off. After that Bucky couldn't even look at the shield without getting made fun of.

But Steve wasn't there to see him so it didn't matter right then.

He grinned and raced toward it only to look down and see Steve curled into a tiny ball behind it, completely asleep and wearing one of Bucky's t-shirts. It was cute as hell, but kind of sad at the same time. Bucky still took a photo for posterity.

“Honey?” Steve fidgeted but didn't wake so Bucky carefully moved the shield and sat it aside. “Come here, baby.” Bucky lifted Steve into his arms as gently as he could and then carried him back to their bedroom. “Dunno how the hell you were sleepin’ like that.”

He laid Steve back on the bed and crawled into it after, smiling softly and pressing a kiss to Steve's hair when he snuggled up against him. 

The next time Steve went missing from their bed Bucky found him with the shield flipped up like a bowl and asleep in the curve of it like a cat, right in the middle of the living room floor. Another picture was taken, Bucky carried him back to bed, and held him until he woke up.

The time after that Bucky found the shield hovering a few inches off the floor and found his husband curled up underneath it with the fingers of one hand peeking out.

Steve wouldn't talk about it no matter how many times Bucky tried. Just distracted him with kisses or blowjobs and then they went about their days as usual.

The next time Bucky woke to find Steve missing from their bed it was to find him standing in front of their mirror in his new miniature suit that Tony had made him, the bright daytime one, and holding the shield in front of himself. Captain America was in their bedroom. Not Steve. It didn't matter Steve's size because because Captain America wasn't just a fucking body. Captain America wouldn't be possible without everything Steve Rogers-Barnes was. 

Bucky still made the distinction though. His husband was everything to him and always would be, but Captain America was technically his boss.

"We get a call?"

"No. Soul searching."

"Honey, you're still you. You can still punch tanks and now when Hulk throws you you'll go farther. You're more...streamlined." Steve's lips twitched in a small smile. "Wanna know what I see, Steve?"

Steve shrugged as Bucky climbed off of the bed and walked up behind him.

"I know we always joked about you being a twink before and let's face it, you were, but this body doesn't change anything. You're still the same man I fell in love with. Now you just get to have better hiding places." He winced at the extra pointy elbow jabbing him in the gut.

"Be serious, Buck."

"Saw you trying not to smile. I mean it. I love you and I will always love you. Even if you get turned purple or something. You're still stupidly brave and strong and perfect. You're fucking beautiful. I've always thought so and I always will. I just want you happy, Steve. I don't want you sad because of this."

"But how will anyone ever take me seriously ever again?"

"Baby. Honey. Light of my eyes. Love of my life. My darling angel. My Sun and moon and starlit sky." Steve rolled his eyes in the mirror even as he blushed and Bucky leaned down and kissed his cheek just under the edge of his helmet. "Kick their asses if they don't. You can do that now. Tiny Captain America is fucking badass. But Tiny Twink Steve Rogers-Barnes is one bad motherfucker."

Steve grinned then dropped the shield and turned to launch himself at Bucky. Bucky yelped as they fell to the floor, Steve riding him down, and then moaned into a kiss when Steve smashed their lips together.

"I love you, Buck."

"I love you too, baby."

Steve kissed him again, the dirty flick of his tongue just as hot when he was tiny as it was when he was big. Bucky moaned when Steve slipped a gloved hand between them and palmed his cock through his pajama pants.

"Gonna fuck you in my uniform. You still slicked up for me, baby doll? Huh? Your hole still all loose and sloppy?"

Bucky squirmed under him, knowing damn good and well that Steve knew he was. The little shit was the one that had slipped the plug into him before they went to sleep.

"Gonna fuck you good and hard. Make you cry. Gonna fill you up with my come and plug you back up. Keep you full of me all day. Whenever I want at your ass I'm just gonna yank the plug out and fuck right into you, fill you up again. I'm gonna fucking ruin you, Buck."

Bucky whimpered, writhing now, as Steve jerked his cock, his pajama bottoms rough against his skin. "Steve." He was gonna die. Was already gagging for more. He arched up with a short cry when Steve tightened his hand on his cock and Steve gripped onto him with his thighs, riding him up and then back down. "Please, honey. Please."

"Please what, sugar?"

"Want it. Wanna feel you. Want you in me."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm." He whined as Steve gave him another kiss, this one all teeth and tongue, then sat up on his knees. He let go of Bucky's dick then grabbed his hips and flipped him over and yanked his pajamas down, tearing the fabric and making him yelp at the sting of elastic snapping on his skin.

Small hands groped his ass, squeezing and spreading him apart, and he whined when it pulled at his rim stretched around the plug. Steve kissed the small of his back, licked over his skin and groaned.

"So fuckin' perfect, Buck. Always so perfect for me. I'm gonna fucking wreck you."

Yes, please. Holy shit, yes.

"Anything you want, Buck. I love the way you ramble. 'specially when I'm fucking you. Got no filter, baby. And the sounds you make, Christ they get me goin'. All those little whimpers and moans. The way you gasp and cry. The fuckin' sweetest little sounds. Just for me."

Bucky was practically drooling onto the carpet already and Steve hadn't done much but talk dirty at him. He was such a goner for him.

"You gonna moan for me, baby?" Steve licked a stripe up his back and sighed. "Gonna make all those little noises when I'm fucking you?"

"Yes. Jesus, Stevie, come on. Need you."

Steve kissed his neck then bit down on his shoulder, grinding against the plug in his ass, the rough texture of the suit chafing his skin. He knew he'd be sore with it after but didn't care. Didn't care about anything but Steve pushing the plug into him over and over, making it bump against his prostate.

"God, Buck. Wanna get that vibrator of yours. That big purple one. Wanna fuck you with it, stretch you out and slip it to you with it buzzing away inside you. Put it on as high as it'll go and fuck you. You want that? Me and it at the same time? Splitting you open?"

"Please! Steve, honey, fuck me. Need your cock, baby." He cried out at the loss when Steve pulled back and then he heard Steve fumbling with his pants. Fucking finally. He squirmed when he felt Steve's cock against him. Hard and hot and heavy and almost as big as before. By now he knew that the serum had only slightly enhanced what had already been there but it never failed to surprise him. Goddamn. Who knew that tiny Steve Rogers had been walking around with that thing?

"You need it, Buck? Need me to fuck you into the floor? Wanna hear you beggin' for it."

"'m already beggin'!" He was gonna die if Steve didn't just fuck him already. "Please, Stevie. Please, baby. Please."

Steve backed up again and he whined until he felt those delicate long-fingered hands spreading him open wide enough that it pulled at his rim. He clenched down on the plug to hold it still then moaned when Steve's breath ghosted over his skin followed by his tongue.

By the time Steve had pulled the plug out with his teeth and tongue Bucky was a writhing, spit- slicked mess. His cock hung hot and heavy, drooling on the carpet. A gloved hand reached between his legs and wrapped around him, gathering up precome and circling over the head, the smooth leather sliding over heated skin. He nearly came just from that and grit his teeth to keep from crying out.

"You ready, baby?" Steve shoved three fingers inside him, the leather of his glove scratching at his rim, and he nodded so much he figured he looked a little bit like a bobble head. “Yeah? You been so good, beggin’ for it so pretty.”

“Steve!” He jolted when those devious fingers nailed his prostate.

“I want to watch us.” He let go of Bucky's cock, slid his fingers out, ignored Bucky's mournful whine, and shuffled them around until they were facing their mirror. “There we go, sugar. So fucking sweet for me, doll.” 

He gripped Bucky's hair with one hand, tightened his fingers until he groaned and went lax, and dug the fingers of his other hand into his hip tight enough to bruise. He shuffled closer, sliding his cock along Bucky's crease making him whine when it caught on his rim and then slid past. He did it again and again until Bucky was whimpering and writhing, making breathless little noises that might’ve been sobs. Bucky screamed when Steve finally slammed into him, narrow hips hugged up against his ass.

“Don't come yet, sugar.”

“Fuck you! Oh, my God.” How the hell was he not supposed to come yet with Steve finally filling him up just right? He found out when Steve let go of his hair and tightened his hand around the base of his cock until it hurt. Straddling that line between pleasure and pain. His head thunked down onto the floor as he whined. Steve was going to kill him.

"No, baby doll. You ain't gonna die. Not until I'm done with you. And I will never be done with you." Steve pulled out slowly, only the head of his cock staying inside, and Bucky tried not to tense at what he knew was going to be a savage thrust in. He knew it wouldn't hurt, not the bad kind of pain anyway, and he howled when Steve grabbed his shoulder with his free hand and yanked him back onto his cock.

He clawed at the carpet, fingers digging in and tearing through it, as Steve fucked him. Each rough slide of his cock hitting his prostate perfectly as Steve fucked into him.

The fingers of his left hand scraped concrete, little sparks flying up around them as he scrabbled for purchase. He needed something to hold onto but was purely at Steve's mercy. Each thrust in rocked him forward, his forehead scraping against the carpet. Each pull out had him trying to push back, trying to keep Steve inside him. But Steve's hold on him kept him from moving any direction he didn't want Bucky to move.

"Should've put a cock ring on you, sugar. So I can use both hands." 

Bucky whined, shaking his head. He had a love hate relationship with cock rings. He loved the way they felt, the way they made him feel. Desperate for release, but unable to achieve it until he was so far gone he couldn't even beg. Didn't have the voice for it, only fucked out gasps, moans, and whines until Steve forced him to come. He hated them for the same reasons. That intensity that broke him into a million pieces until Steve put him back together again.

"Unless you'll be a good boy for me? Hmm? You wanna be good for me and not come until I say you can?" Steve thrust in deep and stayed there, grinding into him with tiny movements.

"Can't. Stevie, I can't." Not when Steve had him so riled up.

"Are you sure, sweetheart?"

"Yea, shit! Baby, please. Don't be cruel."

"Alright, sweetheart. Maybe later though?"

"Mmm."

Steve pulled out, far enough that the crown of his cock tugged at Bucky's rim, and rested there. Bucky groaned at the feeling, full and empty all at once, then yelped when Steve thrust back inside hard enough that his sac slapped against Bucky's. He did it a few more times, each rough thrust in and out making Bucky's forehead scrape across the carpet. He finally let go of Bucky's cock and grasped his other hip as tightly as the one he'd already been holding. Bucky knew he'd have bruises later. He'd cherish them just like every other time Steve had given them to him. The reminder of unbridled passion, the way they could let totally loose without fear of permanent injury. He loved how rough they would get sometimes. How easy it was to just take and take from each other. To give and give until they were both little more than useless piles of bone and flesh.

Stars sparkled in front of his eyes and he blinked only to realize he had closed them at some point. Steve let go of his hip just long enough to slap his ass with a reminder to breathe before he passed out. He didn't think he'd get a proper breath while Steve was fucking him. Each push in punching what little air he managed to suck in out of his lungs. He wouldn't even care if he passed out. Steve could keep fucking him through it and wake him back up again and he wouldn't give a single protest afterward.

He whined at the thought and clenched his teeth as his cock jerked painfully, spilling more precome onto the carpet. Fuck. He and Steve hadn't done that yet. Steve had woken him up with blow jobs before, but never fucked him while he was sleeping. He wanted that. So fucking much.

"What is it, baby?"

"Want you to fuck me while I'm still asleep."

"Yeah? Want to wake up on my cock," Steve asked, voice breathy and panting for air. "Wan' me to slip it to you all nice and slow? And just when you're starting to wake up, fuck you hard as you can stand? Just the way you like it, huh baby doll?" He nailed Bucky's prostate harder than before sending more stars streaking across his vision before his eyesight whited out completely as he came with a scream.

He came to with Steve plastered on his back and panting against his shoulder blade, collapsed onto the floor. Steve's hands were still gripping his hips and he shuddered when Steve swiped his tongue over his skin, licking up his sweat.

"You back with me, sugar?"

"Yeah." He felt like whatever the human equivalent of melted candle wax was. All soft and warm and loose. A boneless puddle. Sore in all the best ways.

"You wanna stay like this for a while?"

"Mmm." He sighed and closed his eyes, intent on holding onto this feeling for as long as he could.

He wasn't sure how long they lay there, soaking up the last of their afterglow. All he knew was that the wet patch of carpet under him was getting gross and he'd be glued to it soon if they didn't move. Sexy while it happened, not so sexy now that it was getting sticky. He finally opened his eyes, blinked against the bright light filtering in through their windows, then looked into the mirror and saw an impressive patch of rug burn on his forehead. Jesus. 

"You ready to get up, baby?"

"Yeah."

Steve pried his fingers off Bucky's hips then pulled out slowly. Bucky watched him fumble around for the plug, take a wet wipe from his pocket, the sneaky little shit, and clean it. Bucky groaned when Steve slid it through the mess of come and lube leaking from him then sighed when Steve pushed it inside him. He hated feeling empty after they were done.

"Come on, sugar." Steve stood, how dare the jerk have full use of his legs, then pulled Bucky up and suplexed him onto the bed, both of them laughing.

"Who the fuck let you watch wrestling?"

"Clint. We were waiting for the monster truck thing to come on and couldn't find anything else to watch."

"Nerds."

Bucky watched Steve strip out of his now stained uniform and toss it toward the hamper. He rolled his eyes as his husband crawled up the bed. One day he'd get Steve to actually put his clothes in it instead of just tossing them toward it. "I love you, Buck."

"Love you too. You gonna come back to bed?"

"Just 'til you come down a little more. I'm supposed to go talk with Thor. He thinks there's a magical reason the shrink ray worked on me, but not anyone else."

"Shouldn't I be there for that?"

Steve shrugged. "It's just Thor."

"Just Thor." Bucky eyed his husband for a long moment, took notice of the slightly guilty look and the way Steve kept looking over his shoulder instead of meeting his eyes. Holy shit. "Really! Baby, oh my God."

"What!"

"Steve, are you still jealous?"

"You still call him Sexy Pirate Thor even after he got his new eye," Steve said with a pout.

"Steve, baby, love of my life, my darling husband. If I wanted to jump Thor's bones that badly I would have done it before me and you got together. I had ample opportunity when we were at the cottage. It's been two years. I'm not going to climb him like a tree just cause you got shrunk. Jeez."

"I know. It's just...he's Thor. And I'm…"

"My husband, whom I love so very much. I can't help with your obvious self esteem issues unless you listen to me and trust me when I say that I don't fucking care what you look like. I love what's in here." Bucky punched him lightly on the chest. "This right here is all I care about. Your body isn't what makes you Steve Rogers. What's inside does. And what's inside is why I love you. Yeah, Thor is like legit a god and he's got really nice arms and abs, but he's not you. And you're built better than he is when you're not shrunk down anyways. I married you like three times. You'd think that would be enough."

"Twice. I'm sorry, Buck. I just…"

"I know." Bucky gave him a quick kiss then slid off the bed. "I'm taking a shower and then  _ we _ are going to go talk to Thor. Besides, if you think that me declaring my love for you in front of our family and friends at the coffee shop wasn't a wedding, then we're gonna have some issues."

"Three times. My mistake. Does that mean we technically have three anniversaries? Instead of just the one?"

Bucky narrowed his eyes in thought. Three anniversaries sounded a bit much, even for them. Then again that was three anniversaries on which to hopefully take the day off and let Steve have his way with him. Not that he didn't usually let Steve have his way with him, because he did. A lot. Like three times a day sometimes. And other days were like today. When the signs were just right and Steve was an exceptionally horny little bastard that had his dick stuck in Bucky more often than not and Bucky was just along for the ride. And what a ride it was. Damn.

"Buck?"

He raised a brow at the gravel in Steve's voice looked down at him. "Already?" Steve nodded then looked down. Bucky followed his gaze and oh. Well, hello there. Apparently Steve wasn't the only horny bastard today. 

"Shower?"

"Yeah, okay."

***

Bucky made Steve wait to go see Thor until the worst of the rugburn was gone. He did not need the trauma of anyone knowing what else he and Steve got up to. Not that Steve hadn't drunkenly told them all already anyway.

They walked hand in hand into the commons and Thor smiled at them happily when he saw them.

"Someone just got laid."

Bucky giggled and Steve rolled his eyes at Thor.

"Steve had to assert his dominance and ownership over me."

"I don't own you, Buck."

Bucky gave him a wicked grin. "Don't you, though? Thought you owned me pretty thoroughly a little while ago."

Steve rolled his eyes while Thor and Bucky laughed. "Yeah, okay.  _ Anyway.  _ What did you find, Thor?"

"Nothing. That's the problem. I think Loki had something to do with it."

"I thought Loki was kind of a good guy now?"

Thor bobbed his head from side to side, then stuck a hand out and wavered it. "It depends on the day."

"Ugh. Okay, so if your brother did it then go chew his ass and tell him to reverse it!"

"Well, now isn't exactly a good time."

"Thor! My husband has been like this for weeks. Tony and Bruce and what's his name-"

"Doctor Strange," Steve interjected.

"are no closer to figuring it out than they were the first day. I mean, yeah. Steve's still strong and healthy so it's not as bad as it could've been, but dude. Come on."

"Loki is having some personal issues right now and won't be able to do anything to fix it even if they did have anything to do with it."

"What personal issues?"

"Matters of a uh...sensitive nature."

"Oh. Did Loki knock someone up," Steve asked. Bucky grinned when Thor blanched and shook his head.

"Is Loki the one that got knocked up?"

Thor bit his lip. "I am not at liberty to discuss such things."

Bucky nodded with a giggle. "I gotcha. But seriously, bring Loki over so we can at least ask about it."

"The wizard is smart. He'll figure it out. I am going to go...uh...see someone. About um...something."

"You better go get your brother, Thor. Don't make me break my hand on your face."

Thor laughed, picked up Stormbreaker, then ran out of the room.

"Thor knows more than he's letting on," Steve murmured.

"And it's definitely about Loki." They both stared out of the window, watching as Thor flew past. "I'm revoking his privileges."

"What privileges?"

"I dunno, but I'm revoking them."

Steve laughed, shook his head, then stood on tiptoe, and yanked Bucky down for a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Let's see if J will help us hunt down Loki."

***

Four weeks later, long enough for Steve to grow a depression beard that looked oddly both sexy and adorable on his tiny face, he and Bucky were standing outside a small cottage hidden in the mountains of Jotunheimen, Norway. And what do you know, Stormbreaker was leaning up against the house next to the door. Bucky frowned, pulled his coat tighter around himself and tucked Steve up against him. He knew how much his husband hated the cold.

"I'm fine Buck," he said. Like his teeth weren't chattering and his nose wasn't pink from the cold.

"Uh huh. Let's see who's home." Bucky dragged Steve with him to the door and knocked loudly. They heard a yelp, a crash, and then complete silence. Huh. Bucky knocked again, a little more forcefully this time, but there was only more silence. "Thor? I know you're here. Stormbreaker is on the porch."

He heard a woman's voice muttering something about a buffoon, then more silence. "We're not leaving! You might as well open the door."

Steve shook his head with a sigh then tapped a finger against his chin. Or where his chin would be were it not covered by three scarves. "I wonder."

"What?"

Steve pulled away from him and reached for the axe. Bucky shrugged and Steve grinned wickedly, Bucky could tell by the crinkles around his eyes, and tried to heft it. Apparently it was lighter than it looked because Steve nearly went ass over teakettle when he swung it over his shoulder. "Huh. Let's go." Steve turned to walk back to the quinjet so Bucky shrugged again and followed after him.

"Can I try?"

"Wait until we have it on the jet. Just in case this is a fluke. I don't know if you have to be worthy or just strong enough to lift this one."

"Okay." Bucky took Steve's free hand and told him about nisser, the little gnome-like dudes that he'd read about on the flight over. He wanted to go to a gift shop and buy a couple dolls of them to put out for Christmas. "Oh, hey, do you think it's the wrong time of year for drunk moose?"

"I don't know, sugar. Probably. It's already cold."

"Yeah, but we're like in the middle of Norway so maybe it's not further South?"

Steve frowned in thought, then shrugged. "I guess there's no harm in finding out."

***

"There's harm in finding out!" Bucky ran past his husband, the nerd still carrying Stormbreaker around with him, as they ran from the moose. Probably it couldn't catch them, but you never knew. What if Norway had some kind of freaky super moose that would eat a person? What if they were mutant man-eating weremoose? Like the pandas? Were they viking moose?

"Bucky! My legs are too short!"

"I'm sorry! I'll always love you! You'll be a really cute weremoose!"

"You're an asshole, James Buchanan!"

Bucky looked over his shoulder to see the moose gaining on Steve but only because Steve was too short to run properly through the deep snow. Shit. He turned and raced back to Steve, yanked him up out of the snow, swung him onto his back, and then started running away again.

"Why didn't you use the axe," he yelled over the crunch of snow and the creepy noises of the giant moose chasing them.

"I don't know how!" Steve tightened his arms and legs around him like a baby koala as he ran.

That would be a good reason. "Just throw it!"

"I'm not going to kill a moose!"

"It's obviously some kind of mutated man-eating moose type creature, you'd be doing Norway a favor!"

"Fuck Norway! Stupid moose! Stupid snow! 

Stupid trees!" Man, Steve really hated Norway right now. Bucky skirted around one of the stupid trees and whooped when he saw the jet. Just when he reached it he heard Thor's axe make a strange humming sound and then he and Steve were flying through the air, leaving the jet and weremoose behind them. 

There may or may not have been some unmanly screaming. Not unlike what they'd been doing because of the moose. Not that there'd been any screaming at all because that would just be weird. He and Steve didn't scream. Much. 

They especially weren't screaming as they flew over the countryside. That strange high pitched noise that didn't at all sound like screaming? That was the wind rushing past their ears as they flew at a blinding speed. He was pretty sure of it.

He finally just closed his eyes, clung to his husband, and hoped he and Steve wouldn't be beaten to death by the trees they were barely flying over the top of on their way to wherever the hell they were going.

When they finally slammed to a stop, Steve yelped and got pulled off of him and Bucky landed face down in the snow after flying a few more feet. He lifted his head and peeked an eye open after making sure he was still alive to see his husband hanging from Stormbreaker as Thor held it over his head. Shit.

"Hey, guys." Thor was grinning, but it wasn't his usual happy grin. It was slightly more sinister than that. Double shit.

"Hi, Thor. Can you put my husband down now?"

"Oh, right. Sorry." He winced then lowered his arm and Steve kicked his feet uselessly until they hit snow. He let go of the axe and dropped knee deep into the fluffy powder. Bucky dragged himself up and pulled Steve out of it then sat him on the porch of the cottage they had left not that long ago to go on their ill advised hunting trip for drunken moose.

"What the hell, Thor?"

"I wanted Stormbreaker. It's not my fault you two were hanging from it."

"We weren't hanging from it. We were being chased by an evil man-eating weremoose!" Screeching? Bucky wasn't screeching. Shut up.

"You took Stormbreaker?"

Steve shrugged unrepentantly. "You wouldn't open the door."

"Did you play with it too," he asked, turning the axe over in his hands as he looked at Bucky.

"A little. Steve looked cuter with it though."

"I did?" Steve grinned at him, cheeks flushed from the cold, and eyes sparkling. His scarves must have gotten lost in their flight back up to the cottage.

"Yeah, baby. Fucking adorable." He grabbed Steve's hand and pulled him close, bumping their noses together gently then gave him a sweet kiss. "Was hot, too." He yelped when a cold glove covered hand slid down the back of his pants and grabbed his ass. "Steve, baby, Thor is  _ right there _ ."

"I know."

"You will not be doing that on my porch!"

The door flew open, Thor groaned, Steve jerked away from him, and Bucky whined. Loki was a cockblock. At least, Bucky thought the lithe, vaguely pregnant looking woman was Loki. Bucky hadn't actually seen Loki in person before, but after all the shit he'd seen in the past few years Loki being a woman wasn't even near the top of his list of surprises.

"Loki, this is Steve and his husband Bucky."

"We've met," Steve murmured with a slight glare. "Thor gave us the rundown about why you did what you did."

"I see." Loki looked Steve over from head to toe then trained their gaze on Bucky. "We haven't met."

"No. It's nice to meet you."

"Is it?"

"Would be if you can fix whatever it was you did to Steve and explain why you were working with Hydra."

"What makes you think I had anything to do with it?"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Thor said you might've."

"My brother has been known to be wrong at times."

"Loki!"

They huffed with an eye roll of their own. "Fine. You may as well come in." They stepped aside, gesturing with one arm and Bucky grabbed Steve's hand and pulled him along as he walked inside.

"Thank you."

He kept Steve close as they stepped aside so Loki and Thor could come in. Thor waved them toward a small living room that had two chairs, a coffee table, and a couch close to a stone fireplace that was roaring with a decently sized fire.

"Would you like some glögg?"

Bucky looked to Steve and he shrugged. Yeah, Bucky didn't know what it was either. He was assuming it was a drink of some sort.

"Um...what is it?"

"Mulled wine," Loki said with a roll of their eyes. "Thor found the recipe."

"Uh...sure. Thanks." Bucky shrugged at the look Steve shot him. He sat down and pulled Steve down to sit next to him. This was so weird. He wasn't sure what he expected of Loki, but it wasn't seeing them as a mildly pregnant woman, possibly sharing a house with their brother, and kind of being nice. So weird. Though he and Steve had also gotten chased by a man-eating weremoose so it wasn't the strangest thing to happen that day. "How far along are you?" He yelped when Steve elbowed him. "What? It's just a question. Damn."

"Four months if you really must know."

"How'd that happen?"

"Jesus, Buck. I think you're old enough to know how babies happen!"

"No, I just meant like-"

"I know what you meant, sugar, but what if they don't want to talk about it? Thor said they were goin' through some stuff."

"My brother is an idiot."

"Thor ain't stupid, lady! He's a hell of a lot smarter than people give him credit for!"

"Oh, jeez. Sugar, don't start a fight."

"Seriously? Steve ‘I can take on the whole world’ Rogers is telling me not to start a fight. Honey, how many fights have you gotten into?"

"That's besides the point. You can't fight a pregnant lady and I don't want to see you get your ass beat."

"I have neither the desire nor the energy to fight any of you. That and my brother would never forgive me if I damaged you. I dare say you two are his favorites of all his playmates. Well," they amended, "the two of you and Stark."

"Playmates?"

"Thor never shuts up about you. It gets rather irritating at times."

Thor came back before Bucky or Steve could say anything else and handed them each a mug of mulled wine. Bucky took a sip after staring down into the mug to check for weird bugs or something because he had no clue what kind of stuff Asgardians ate or drank besides extremely potent booze and nearly choked at the unexpected burn.

"I used some of the liquor I bring you."

Oh, God. He started to set it aside then decided fuck it. He'd drink it anyways. He'd been chased by a creepy man-eating weremoose, flown over the Norwegian countryside by magical axe, and was now sitting in the same room as pregnant lady Loki. How much worse could it get?

***

"Hey, Buck? Bucky, guess what?"

"What, honey?"

"I moose-t tell you something." Bucky groaned, pulled the pillow over his head, and tried to smother himself so he wouldn't have to hear more of Steve's stupidly adorable head injury puns.

Maybe drinking a bunch of Thor's glögg and then going outside to have a drunken snowball fight with the two gods hadn't been a good idea. 

It was especially not a good idea when Steve stole Stormbreaker again and used it for a baseball bat against the rapidly flying snowballs. The axe had slid out of his hands, flew across the small yard, and sliced through a few trees before Thor called it back. And somehow Steve had managed to throw his tiny self in the way and got clocked in the head. So yeah. Head injury puns.

"What must you tell me?" Steve slid long skinny fingers up Bucky's stomach, tracing his abs.

"You're very moose-cular."

"That's not funny."

"I find it very a-moose-ing."

"Shut up."

"Is my voice not moose-ic to your ears?"

"No. Go to sleep."

"Hey, baby doll?"

"What, Steve?"

"You moosn't forget that I love you more than anything."

"I know you do, honey. I love you more than anything, too. Which is why I'm not going to kill you, but I  _ am _ only allowing you one more pun before we go to sleep."

"What would you do if I grew a moose-stache?"

"Wait until you go to sleep and then shave it off." The only person on the planet who could pull off a mustache was Tom Selleck and that was just because everyone was used to seeing him with one. Bucky refused to let Steve have a mustache. "Please, for the love of God, go to sleep."

Steve finally giggled and moved to curl up on top of Bucky like a cat. Bucky fussed with the blankets to make sure Steve was covered up properly then kissed the top of his head.

"Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, sugar."

***

When Bucky woke it was to a blinding headache, the comforting weight of his husband resting on his chest, and feminine giggles. He peeked an eye open, saw Loki standing at the end of the bed, and whined when he saw that stupid shrink ray gun thingy.

"Really?" They shrugged a shoulder, flipped a switch on the damn thing that he bet said 'reverse', and then aimed it at Steve and fired before Bucky could stop them.

Steve came awake with a flail and a yelp and Bucky wheezed when he suddenly had two hundred and forty pounds of muscle curled up in a tiny ball on his chest.

"What the hell," Steve asked with a groan as Bucky nudged him over so he could breathe. 

"Loki is a fucking nerd, that's what the hell."

"In my defense I didn't know the prick was one of your Hydra. Not at first. Stupid name if you ask me. It's a many headed beastie not a skull with tentacles. The moron assumed I was against you and my brother and asked for a weapon to reverse the effects of your serum. He was pretty." Loki shrugged their shoulder again as they disappeared the gun. "Stupid, but pretty and well...I have a certain weakness for pretty men. Too much of one sometimes." They glared down at their distended belly for a second before their gaze turned soft and they patted the bump apologetically. "I would have told my brother what happened and undone the magic on you after a few days, but well, my child has other ideas sometimes."

"Oh. Well, thank you for not trying to kill me." Bucky snorted out a quiet laugh that he muffled in Steve's hair.

"It's a small matter," Loki said with another shrug. "My brother is making breakfast, though I don't know how edible you will find it."

"We were both in the Army. We'll eat anything."

"On your heads be it." They grinned with a scrunch of their nose, then turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

"I'll deny it to my dying day if you tell anyone, but I don't think Loki is quite as bad as everyone says. I mean, Loki has changed a bit from before, huh?"

"In that they're currently not trying to kill all of us, yes. Don't ever trust 'em Bucky."

"Steve," Bucky said seriously. "I can count the number of people I trust on two hands and I'm all out of fingers."

Steve snorted then pinched Bucky's thigh. "You're such a geek."

"But you love me anyways."

"Yeah, I do. Even if you don't appreciate my puns." Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve's pout.

"I don't not like them. They're endearing. And ridiculous."

"My moosetake."

Oh, for fuck's sake. He yanked the pillow out from under his head and smacked his husband with it. "I shoulda let the moose eat you."

Steve laughed the gave him a quick kiss before rolling out of the bed.

"We should get up before Thor comes to get us." Bucky groaned then sulked his way off the bed and made grabby hands at his husband.

"Carry me."

"Okay, Buck." Steve grabbed him and swung him up onto his back, waiting until Bucky had his arms and legs wrapped around him before he carried him out of the room. The scent of what Bucky hoped was bacon and not some weird Asgardian creature hit them as soon as the door opened and his stomach rumbled. Though maybe since it smelled like bacon it was okay. One of those as long as he didn't know what exactly he was eating it was okay things. He didn't want a repeat of the calf fry incident from his and Steve's fake honeymoon in Oklahoma. He didn't suggest googling them. Bucky and Steve were both city boys through and through. How were they supposed to know what calf fries were?

He scrubbed his cheek against Steve's and sighed. "Smells good."

"Me or the food?"

"Yes." Bucky whimpered pitifully and tucked his nose against Steve's scruffy jaw. "I'm still tired."

"I know, sugar." Steve patted his leg and carried him into the small kitchen.

***

The call to assemble sounded just minutes after they sat down to eat and Bucky pouted as Steve excused himself from the table to see what the alarm was about. Thor held a hand out even as he kept eating and Stormbreaker flew into the kitchen. Steve managed to duck this time and Thor caught the axe.

Steve was silent for longer than Bucky was comfortable with before he started cursing up a storm.

"We gotta go, Buck." Steve grabbed his hopefully bacon off his plate and Bucky nodded, shoved another piece of hopefully bacon in his mouth, grabbed the other two off of his plate to eat on the way to the jet then rushed after his husband when he turned to leave.

"What is it?"

"An old Hydra base," Steve mumbled around his own hopefully bacon. "It's been silent for months is why we hadn't hit it yet. Tony picked up some noise coming from it. Energy spikes. Something big. He said he'll meet us there with the rest of the team. The treeline is too far away to do you and Clint any good. You'll be on the ground with us this time."

"I'll take you to the jet," Thor said as he came up behind them.

"Are you going to text Becca?" It wasn't like Bucky didn't know that Steve and Becca still had their little system set up. Two years and some odd months and Steve still texted Becca to let her know when Bucky would be on the ground with them.

"When we get to the jet."

"Okay." Bucky turned to apologize to Loki for leaving in the middle of breakfast and saw that the table was already clean. "Oh."

Loki grinned and waved them on. "Go save the world with my brother."

"Yeah. Thank you, Loki."

They dipped their head in acknowledgment and closed the door after them.

Bucky yelped as he and Steve were tugged close to Thor and then there may or may not have been some manly high pitched screaming as they flew across the Norwegian countryside.

***

When they met Tony, Natasha, Sam, Clint, and Bruce at the edge of the forest around the base it was to looks of surprise and worry.

"What? Loki fixed it." Steve shrugged as he hooked the shield on his back.

"Loki? Thor's brother Loki?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"It's a story for later."

"Yeah," Bucky said as he checked over his weapons. He wasn't sure Thor, or Loki for that matter, would want the team to know Loki was pregnant much less had anything to do with Steve shrinking to begin with. And if there was one thing Bucky excelled at it was avoiding difficult conversations. Steve could attest to that.

"Everyone knows what to do?"

The team all nodded and Bucky yanked Steve into a quick kiss. "Let's do this."

When they entered the compound, surprisingly lacking in the evil science Nazi department, Bucky was certain something was fucking wrong. There were no goons, no sciencey dudes, no noise aside from their own breathing, footsteps, and the hum of electricity going through the wires.

Stark had scanned the place and come up with nothing aside from the wonky power levels. No heat signatures at all. Bucky wanted to leave and just blow the place to smithereens. Nothing good ever came from shit like this. Steve insisted they clear the place floor by floor. 

Steve and Bucky went separately. Clint and Natasha teamed up. Sam went with Thor and Tony and Bruce went together. Bruce hadn't given Hulk the reins yet. Just in case he and Tony needed to science the shit out of something. Bruce was a bit out of his element, but Tony had been training with him, finally having found a little grey area to work in that kept Hulk from taking over when he thought Bruce might be in danger.

They kept in almost constant contact through the coms. Tony and Clint's jabbering a comforting background noise. Like a radio turned down so it was barely audible as you read a book. If it got too quiet for too long Steve would have them sound off, worrying about all of them.

Bucky hadn't found shit. No trap doors conveniently hidden under area rugs, no secret doors hidden behind bookcases, no boogeymen hiding in dark corners or on the ceiling. The strangest thing he'd found, besides a big fat nothing, was that the computers he came across were on, but the dates were wrong. They were running fucking Windows ME and the dates were off by about four years. What the shit?

"Stark, you see the dates on the computers?"

"Yep. Haven't found anything yet. JARVIS is poking around."

"How's he not frying them? These things are ancient."

"He's being careful. It's an interesting concept where you don't just run full speed at something and hope you don't die. Something you and Steve aren't familiar with."

"Ha." His and Steve's sarcastic laughter sounded at the same time and Natasha snorted.

"Nerds."

Bucky giggled as he walked out of the room and across the hall into another. He raised an eyebrow when he saw photos tacked to the wall all conspiracy theorist style with yarn lines linking different ones and everything. What the shit? He walked closer and realized they were pictures of Steve. Nothing new about that really. He took a few pictures on his phone so he could tease Steve about some weirdo having a creeper boner for him, then pulled a couple of his favorites down and tucked them into a cargo pocket on his pants.

"Someone really likes you, Steve. Maybe more than I do."

"Not possible."

"If you'd seen what I just saw you might be saying different."

Bucky poked around the room a little more then went to the last room and stepped inside. "What do you think happened here," he asked quietly. "I mean, there's not really signs of anyone having been here in awhile. Except the pictures of Steve on the wall, some of those are recent."

"They were working on something big" Tony murmured. "We need to download the files and get the fuck out of here."

"Getting the heebie jeebies?"

"Yes."

"Can I blow it up? Please?"

Tony and Steve said yes at the same time and Bucky whooped. "It's gonna be beautiful, honey."

"I know, Buck." Steve probably shouldn't give into Bucky's firebug tendencies, but Bucky knew that Steve knew blowing shit up made him happy, so Steve would always let him blow shit up when they could. It was romantic besides. Bucky had very fond memories of blowing things up and him and Steve watching and/or making love afterward. His favorite would probably always be John and Carlos' house. He sometimes wondered what had happened to the two men and hoped they were doing okay, despite what they had done to him. He knew Steve had found a new home for Coco and Tiffany with some scary dude named Fury that had retired from the game a while back so he didn't worry about the cats.

"Wanna come help me set the charges?"

"Sure, baby doll. Stay there, I'll come to you."

Everyone groaned into the coms and Bucky giggled. Yeah, they were fixing to hear lots of noises. But no sex noises because Steve was a jerk that never let Bucky have that kind of fun on missions. Rude. They made out a bit, but nothing more than that. Bucky didn't want those losers to hear Steve railing him over a computer desk anyways. He'd never hear the end of it. So what if he was a screamer? It just meant Steve was really, really good with his dick. Best sex ever. Certainly the most athletic. 

He looked toward the door when he heard the sound of Steve's footsteps and grinned. He had forever ago memorized the way they sounded. Steve came in the room and Bucky tossed him a couple of the tiny explosives Tony had given him as a birthday present. They were the size of a matchbook and one of them could level a two bedroom house. They were sweet as hell.

It was only when Bucky turned to put one on the far wall that he noticed a blue light flashing in his peripheral. That hadn't been there before. He narrowed his eyes as he turned toward it. 

"What is it, Buck?"

"Dunno." He grabbed Steve's hand and dragged him along as he made his way toward the blinking light.

"Never seen a blue one before," Steve murmured.

"Nuh uh. Red or green." Bucky bit his bottom lip as he aimed his flashlight at the control panel to read over the labels. It didn't look like anything dangerous. Nothing screamed at him that it would blow up. He shrugged to himself then reached out to push the button even though he knew better and the world fell out from under them.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me.
> 
> This will be concluded in a crossover with the Hello, Future Husband universe's Bucky, Steve, and the rest of their Avengers. XD  
Two Buckies, two Steves and a lot of lace. ;)


End file.
